5 Secrets to Overcoming Perfectionism in Dancing

The short answer: perfectionism holds your dancing back because nothing can be perfected until you release it. Keep the pursuit of perfection that drives you to train, but drop the need to be perfect before you act. In the video I share five ways to do that: reinvent yourself, release control, release your work, compare fairly, and create instead of compete.

Why are so many dancers perfectionists?

Dancing seems to attract people who are driven by perfection, yet nothing on the dance floor is ever perfect. That drive isn't all bad. It's what makes you want to train and get better. In the video I use the image of a broken bowl mended with gold. It looks more beautiful than it did before, because the perfection is in the imperfection. Let the cracks stand for your mistakes, your failures and the things you tried that didn't work. That's okay.

What are the three types of perfectionism?

The first is self-orientated: an irrational desire to be perfect, where everything must be right before you do it. The second is other-orientated: unrealistic expectations that other people will be perfect. I learnt to swap expectations for standards. The third is socially prescribed: the feeling that the world around you demands perfection. That one is big in Ballroom and Latin, where it can feel like everyone is judging you. The good news is that the judges don't see as much as you think, coaches miss a lot, and most people won't notice your mistakes at all.

What are the 5 secrets to overcoming perfectionism?

1. Reinvent yourself: let the old identity that everything must be perfect die, and create a new self-image. You weren't born a perfectionist. "I'm a perfectionist" is an identity you created, and you can change it.
2. Release control: you control very little. Really it's only your perceptions and your attitude. What you do have is choice: where to be, how to train and how you show up.
3. Release your work: nothing can be perfected until you release it to the world. Once it's out there you get feedback, and that lets you reinvent the work and do it again. So get on the competition floor.
4. Compare fairly: you can't compare yourself to a world champion or a professional unless you are one. All champions were beginners once. Compare yourself to yesterday's self, and to the dancer you want to become.
5. Create, don't compete: instead of trying to beat the couple next to you, be a creator. Nobody can copy your creativity. Keep creating, reforming and reinventing yourself.

Common mistakes

• Waiting until you feel ready or perfect before you compete or dance in front of others.
• Believing everyone is watching and judging every mistake you make.
• Comparing yourself to dancers who are years ahead of you, then deciding you're not good enough.
• Seeing your dancing as black and white: either really good or no good at all.

Try this in your next practice

Pick one thing you've been holding back until it's perfect, like a routine, a competition entry or dancing in front of friends, and release it. Afterwards, compare it with yesterday's self, not with anyone else, and use what you learn to reinvent it and go again.

Frequently asked questions

Is perfectionism always bad for dancers?

No. The pursuit of perfection is what drives you to train. What holds you back is the irrational need to be perfect before you act or show your dancing.

Do judges see every mistake?

No. The judges don't see as much as you think, coaches miss a lot, and most people won't see your mistakes. Those who do will soon forget them.

Who should I compare my dancing to?

Yesterday's self. You were a different dancer a year ago and you'll be different again a year from now. That's your real competition, not the person next to you on the floor.

When is my dancing ready to show?

Now. Nothing can be perfected until it's released, so get out there, get feedback and keep improving.

Do the best dancers dance perfectly?

No. I've asked top professionals and champions why they do it, and the answer is the pursuit of perfection. Nobody is perfect, not even the best dancers in the world.

Related lessons

• If you couldn't fail, how would you dance?
• Act as if: self-image for dancers
• Expectation vs reality of your dancing
• Why you must have goals for your dancing

Vaughan Liddicoat is a 4 time World Professional 10 Dance representative for Australia, an accredited coach and the founder of Ballroom Mastery. He has a passion for dance and wants to help you become the best dancer you can be and have an amazing time doing it.